letter to a young friend from Bintan 

 my friend

please choose a quiet moment to pay attention, just grant me some of your time, for what it is worth

Yes, I will address my letter in english, that’s the language we have chosen to communicate together since the start of our relationship and it fits me

Knowing my qualities means I should be conscious of my flaws too, so I hope to meet people who may share this, it’s not easy to face our weaknesses, we think it’s hurting too much to cope, but how can we improve if not knowing what should be improved, it’s called analyze, a word you do not like, do not foster

Of course I never meant to hurt you, may be shaking what sounds for ever, but nothing could be for ever, not even us, not even kingdoms can last for ever, not even civilizations would endure for ever, think of Romans, Egyptians or great love stories

From the very beginning I thought that if we are not capable to re-new our feelings with someone, one day it will end up, on the opposite giving some time to think about how to make a relationship last will definitely includes some adjustments on the way

Respect, a great word indeed, can we respect each other? Difficult, why? Because it takes some time and a lot of care to understand the other one, and then after a long road paved of upheavals, we may figure out we can do it, and even then, we still make mistakes, so what? We hope we reached a point in which our friends will forgive us, grant us the possibility to make some mistake even after years of relationship, only on the ground that we are imperfect, prone to evolution

Evolution, one important notion again, without evolution, nothing strictly nothing would have emerged from atomic molecules, a water drop, the seas, from the unconsciousness of life, no life would have been possible, evolution will includes laps, or if you want : mutation

Oh, I know, you told me once: I wish you the best, only the best! I never quite understood why you told it to me, I supposed you had a hard time somehow, with someone, you never told it to me

Ah, here we are, you do not speak with me of all of the important things of your life, but you think you did it, I should imagine each time what it is

I do too, I try to show you the best side of life, thinking others may show you the worse one, but you are telling me your life is perfect now, so should I think you left me some room in it?

Then you never answer to my questions, at least the last ones, not always answers to my emails, to my images, to musics, and pics I sent you, how can I guess your taste

I imagined the conversation was over, so was our relationship

 when someone does want to answer, it means a lot

If you want to have a nice relation with me, you will have to answer my questions, as I did answered to yours all the time since we met, it can’t be coming from one side

But if you think you are strong enough to overcome our friendship, that your friends are so good to you, why should you make any effort for us, I will understand, I will accept to lose our friendship, although I invested so much of myself into it those seven last years, I never fake my friendship it was true, so was yours I guess, may be it is too exclusive for you, that’s why I did open it, but you didn’t open our friendship to others, I proposed you another type of relationship

You came to my house, my homes, in Paris, in Burgundy, In Singapore, you stayed with my family, my mother, my friends, but I never went to your places except Paris where I loved to stay with you, I know none of your dear friends

Ok, that’s it! No regrets, I am suffering of your silence, silences, just because I do not understand them, because I cannot help you, be your friend, all those things your share with other people does it mean we still can stay good friends after?

Of course I miss you a great deal, sure I want you back, yes forgive me if I was mean, I didn’t want to


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